Cultivating the Fruit of the Spirit in Marriage with Richard & Kelly Kannwischer

Show notes

About This Episode You're always being cultivated by something: the algorithm, the news cycle, your workplace, your phone. The real question is who's holding the shovel. In this episode Aaron sits down with Richard and Kelly Kannwischer, married 27 years and in ministry together the whole time, to talk about the fruit of the Spirit and what it looks like when it actually grows in a marriage. Richard, author of Cultivate, explains why Galatians 5 describes one fruit rather than nine to pick and choose from, why so many Christians know tricks but aren't trained, and how the question "what if marriage was designed to make us holy instead of happy?" reframes every hard season. Kelly shares how empty nesting forced them to find love again and why patience begins with surrender to God's timing. You'll also hear the simple Dallas Willard practice for training joy, why gentleness is the fruit Richard feels most convicted about in an age of outrage, and a closing challenge to pray the nine every day.

About Richard & Kelly Kannwischer Richard Kannwischer is the senior pastor of Peachtree Presbyterian Church in Atlanta and the author of Cultivate: How God Grows the Fruit of the Spirit Within Us, with a second book on the way. He studied systematic theology and ethics at Princeton Theological Seminary, where he met Kelly, and later had the privilege of studying with Dallas Willard. Kelly Kannwischer helps lead Wonderfully Made Ministry, Peachtree's day program that creates community and vocational opportunity for adults with intellectual disabilities, including the Wonderfully Made Cookie baked in the church's commercial kitchen. Married for 27 years and now empty nesters with daughters in college, Richard and Kelly have served in Presbyterian churches for nearly 30 years. Connect with Richard and get a free study guide PDF at richardkannwischer.com.

In This Episode 00:00 — Intro — Aaron asks who's holding the shovel and introduces Richard and Kelly Kannwischer. 00:55 — How Richard and Kelly Met — Running shoes, a guitar, and a month of running together before Richard finally asked her out. 03:23 — 27 Years of Marriage and Ministry — Serving at Peachtree Presbyterian in Atlanta and nearly 30 years in Presbyterian churches. 04:57 — Wonderfully Made Ministry — Kelly describes the day program and cookie business that gives adults with disabilities community and dignity. 06:28 — A Model Any Church Can Copy — Why unused church rooms and a kitchen are all it takes to reach families who feel unseen. 09:08 — Why Richard Wrote Cultivate — Rescuing the fruit of the Spirit from VBS curriculum and the woman who learned what she was saved for. 11:48 — Richard's Upbringing and Return to Christ — Praying parents, a church scandal that drove him away, and a dorm-room prayer that brought him back. 14:44 — Faith Must Be Tested — Aaron on preparing his kids for doubts and questions instead of fearing them. 16:04 — A Grandfather Who Fled East Germany — The legacy of faith that came through Ellis Island and Union Seminary. 18:06 — Joy Above All Circumstance — The sermon Richard found in his grandfather's study the day of the funeral. 19:56 — Kelly's Grandmother and Meals on Wheels — Where Kelly's heart for the unseen and lonely began. 22:01 — Three Generations of Chosen Family — The Tampa families who became cousins in Christ and still text as adults. 24:47 — Rebuilding Christian Community Today — Aaron on why siloed families need the fellowship Scripture calls us to. 27:36 — One Fruit, Not Nine — Why the fruit of the Spirit isn't a personality test you can opt out of. 28:47 — Tricks vs. Training — The dog trainer who told Richard his dog knew tricks but wasn't trained. 31:01 — Holy Instead of Happy — Dallas Willard on getting heaven into us and the question that reframes marriage. 32:37 — Finding Love Again as Empty Nesters — Kelly on getting married all over again when the family calendar disappears. 35:39 — Faithfulness as Fierce Loyalty — Why faithfulness is a positive quality, not just avoiding bad behavior. 36:39 — Patience Starts with Surrender — How a parents' study on patience quickly became a conversation about surrender. 40:44 — Grace-Based Growth — Paul's threefold pattern in Galatians 5 and why control is not a fruit of the Spirit. 42:26 — Keeping in Step with a Person — Walking in the flesh or the Spirit, and Aaron's six-year-old learning to sit still. 44:27 — Training in Righteousness — Why surrender is the start but habits and patterns must be shaped too. 45:36 — How to Train Joy — Dallas Willard's challenge to read Psalms 145-150 daily for a month. 49:26 — God's Patience Comes First — Kelly on waiting in the Lord because He has waited on us. 51:59 — The Functional Atheist — Matthew 18 and why impatience means forgetting God's patience with you. 54:38 — Gentleness in the Age of Outrage — Why gentleness is the fruit Richard feels most convicted about right now. 57:31 — What a Fully Formed Disciple Looks Like — Kelly on the fruit as a clear picture of what obedience produces. 59:21 — Pray the Nine — Richard's parting challenge and the question of who you are becoming. 60:26 — The Fruit Is for Others — Aaron's closing picture and where to find the book and free study guide.

Scripture Referenced Galatians 5:22-23, Psalm 139, Philippians 4:11-13, Psalms 145-150, Matthew 18:21-35, John 10:28-29, John 15:16, Genesis 1:28, Numbers 13:23, Matthew 7:17-18, Nehemiah 8:10, Exodus 34:6

Resources from This Episode Cultivate: How God Grows the Fruit of the Spirit Within Us by Richard Kannwischer Free study guide PDF and more from Richard at richardkannwischer.com Wonderfully Made Ministry — wonderfullymadecommunity.org Marriage After God devotionals, prayer books, and more — shop.marriageaftergod.com Full show notes and blog post

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