28 Marriage Devotional: What Intimacy Really Means

Show notes

About This Episode Intimacy in marriage is more than sex, but it definitely includes it. In week 28 of their 30-week devotional series, Aaron and Jennifer Smith look at the three essential kinds of intimacy God designed for husbands and wives: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Starting in Genesis with a relational, triune God, they explain why marriage is the only relationship meant to experience every level of closeness, why intimacy begins with God rather than your spouse, and why vulnerability is the prerequisite for being truly known. Aaron speaks honestly about his struggle with emotional connection and what changed when he learned to hold Jennifer instead of fixing her problems. Jennifer recalls the first time they really opened up to each other on a boat dock in Malawi. They close with a practical list of ways to initiate intimacy and a challenge to choose one this week.

About Aaron & Jennifer Smith Aaron and Jennifer Smith are the founders of Marriage After God and authors of Husband After God, Wife After God, and Marriage After God. Married since 2007 and raising six children in Bend, Oregon, they started Husband Revolution and Unveiled Wife to share what God was teaching them, not from a place of having it figured out, but as fellow travelers pointing couples back to Jesus.

In This Episode 00:27 — Welcome to Week 28 — Aaron and Jennifer open the devotional series and point listeners to Husband After God and Wife After God. 01:51 — Made in the Image of a Relational God — The Trinity's perfect unity shows why humans were designed for deep relationship. 04:13 — Marriage Was Designed for Intimacy — Genesis 2:24 and why marriage is the one relationship meant for every level of closeness. 05:11 — Being Known Is Hard — Adam and Eve's nakedness and why exposing our weaknesses in marriage feels risky. 06:27 — The Gospel Picture of Intimacy — God pursues us through Jesus, and Ephesians 5 calls marriage a profound mystery. 08:19 — More Than Sex, But It Includes It — Why the word intimacy points to far more than the physical. 10:17 — Intimacy Starts with God, Not Your Spouse — You can't give what you haven't received; abiding in Christ draws couples closer. 13:41 — Intimacy Requires Vulnerability — Feeling safe to share, and how Christ modeled vulnerability even to death. 16:34 — Physical Intimacy — Why the physical is fundamental to marriage and how it shaped the Smiths' early years. 19:02 — Why Physical Intimacy Matters — Consummation, childbearing, knowing each other, and becoming one flesh. 21:49 — Non-Sexual Touch — Holding hands, kissing, cuddling, and the closeness they build. 23:06 — 1 Corinthians 7:3–5 — Mutual ownership of each other's bodies and why communication matters when there are gaps. 24:55 — Don't Withhold or Control Intimacy — Bitterness, imbalance, and why both spouses should initiate. 26:23 — Emotional Intimacy — Sharing thoughts, feelings, and fears; Aaron's honest struggle to connect. 29:14 — Hold Her, Don't Fix It — Validation, attentive listening, and asking whether your spouse wants advice or a listening ear. 31:36 — What Blocks Emotional Connection — Coming with the wrong heart, defensiveness, and long gaps without deep conversation. 34:02 — A Memory from Malawi — The first time Aaron and Jennifer truly opened up to each other in year one of marriage. 35:55 — Your Spouse Can't Be Your Everything — Expecting all emotional support from a spouse puts weight on them that belongs to God. 37:25 — Spiritual Intimacy — Praying, worshiping, and sharing what God is teaching you. 39:16 — Ministering to Each Other — Communion, serving together, and 1 John 4:7–8: God is love. 40:42 — Ephesians 5:25–26 — Christ cleanses His bride with the Word; reading Scripture and confessing together. 43:26 — Barriers to Intimacy — Little things becoming big things, phones, schedules, exhaustion, and the enemy. 45:18 — Both Spouses Should Initiate — Obedience isn't contingent on your spouse; one act of obedience can change a marriage. 47:46 — Practical Ways to Initiate Intimacy — Honest conversation, sex, confession, prayer, date nights, letters, hobbies, dreams, and service. 51:19 — Marriage After God Quote — A marriage after God is a single unit moving in the same direction. 51:43 — Discussion Questions — How intimacy builds over time, what keeps you from initiating, and why daily pursuit matters. 55:01 — Call to Action and Closing Prayer — Choose one way to initiate intimacy with your spouse this week.

Scripture Referenced Genesis 1–2, Genesis 2:24, 1 Corinthians 7:3–5, 1 John 4:7–8, Ephesians 5:25–26

Resources from This Episode Husband After God by Aaron Smith Wife After God by Jennifer Smith Marriage After God by Aaron & Jennifer Smith Shop Marriage After God Full show notes and blog post

If this conversation encouraged you, please share it with a couple you love, and subscribe wherever you listen. Follow us on Instagram: Marriage After God · Unveiled Wife · Husband Revolution Want to go deeper? Become a patron and help us keep creating resources for marriages that pursue God together. Smith Family Resources, Inc © 2026