The Love That Matters Most in Marriage w/ Dr. Gary Chapman

Show notes

About This Episode Aaron sits down with Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, to talk about the heart behind a lasting marriage and why love must be expressed with humility, grace and the attitude of Christ. Drawing on 64 years of marriage and decades of pastoral counseling, Dr. Chapman shares how early conflict in his own marriage led to an encounter with God, through the picture of Jesus washing feet, that forever changed the way he loved his wife. Together they explore how love languages can heal or harm when used the wrong way, why serving your spouse must come before trying to change them, and what his newest book, The Love Language That Matters Most, adds about dialects, personality differences and the danger of using love as manipulation instead of sacrifice.

About Dr. Gary Chapman Dr. Gary Chapman is the bestselling author of The Five Love Languages and a foundational voice on love languages, apology languages and grace in marriage. Married for 64 years, he has served 50 years on the staff of one church and brings decades of pastoral counseling to his work. His newest book is The Love Language That Matters Most.

In This Episode 64 years of marriage — what decades of marriage and pastoral counseling have taught Dr. Chapman The foot-washing moment — how God used the picture of Jesus washing feet to change his marriage Three questions — What can I do to help you? How can I make your life easier? How can I be a better husband? Love language dialects — how the new book adds nuance and personality differences to the five love languages Love, not leverage — why using love languages to manipulate your spouse into reciprocating backfires Apologizing first — the five apology languages and why humility goes first The 5-to-1 ratio — Gottman's research on positive and negative interactions Grace over guilt — why lasting marriages major on grace

Resources from This Episode Connect with Gary Chapman: Love Language Assessment The Love Language That Matters Most Shop Marriage After God Full show notes and blog post

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